


Weight

by aquietdin



Category: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-02
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-26 19:21:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3861730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aquietdin/pseuds/aquietdin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nights crept by, his mind racing, trying to think of every possibility, every chance. Post Zaude, Flynn’s perspective.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weight

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for Zaude and everything after.

It wasn’t when he saw the debris falling from the top of Zaude, a tiny speck in the distance, or even hours afterwards. It wasn’t when he searched the wreckage, finding what little remained of Alexei, or even as darkness fell and they lit torches to light the stones they turned over.

It was only as the sun rose again and Flynn was forced to pull his troops out, his voice hoarse from shouting his name for hours that it dawned on him. The debris he watched fall to the sea below was not stone, but a person. And he’d wasted so many precious hours looking in the wrong place.

Flynn scrambled back down and ordered his scouts into the water. Fear gripped his stomach, a cold and low weight. Estellise and the others joined in the search. Somewhere in mid afternoon, he was blinded by the sunlight reflecting off the ocean, and crumbled to the deck of his ship.

Nearly a day passed before he awoke, or so Witcher told him. Flynn sat up in his cabin, wincing at the lingering pain in his bandaged chest. He asked if Yuri had been found.

“Nothing yet,” was the only answer he got.

Witcher exited, and Flynn noticed a tray of food by the table. He was shocked at how difficult it was to walk to it, leaning on furniture as he took one shaking step at a time - he’d been so focused on searching for Yuri that food and water had been the furthest things from his mind. He could almost hear his friend scolding him, telling him it wasn’t good for a knight to let himself pass out from exhaustion.

He choked down the lukewarm stew and slightly stale bread, then went to the basin to wash his face. In front of the mirror, Flynn drew the loose tunic from his shoulders and peeled away the bandages that covered his chest. The skin was marred and blistered, tight and angry red across his heart. The memory of the blast that hit him was distant, the pain of it years away. Flynn had only been focused on one thing in that moment, so consumed by a need to move, push, to protect. His own life wasn’t even in the equation.

The last word Flynn remembered hearing Yuri say was his name, his voice shocked.

Flynn touched the wound gently and let out a hiss, the skin still sensitive. Even his best healers couldn’t entirely erase the mark it left, the apatheia’s aer blast too powerful. It would have to heal on its own. He carefully replaced the bandages and began changing into his uniform. Yuri was still missing, and he had to find him.

Another day of searching yielded nothing. Morning of the next day saw Flynn forced to leave Zaude, as much as it pained him. He was now the acting Commandant, and he couldn’t afford to spend his time and energy searching for one man. There were too many other issues that needed his attention; the horrible darkness that now parted the sky and the monsters flooding out, not to mention Pallestralle, the Union, and his majesty Ioder.

He was relieved to hear Estellise and the others offer to stay behind and keep looking. Flynn ordered a small party of scouts to assist them before setting back to the capital, a heavy feeling in his limbs.

 

The first week went by in a blur of meetings, reports, salutes and orders. He spent a great deal of it on his ship, sailing back to Zaphias. Once in the castle, he barely registered his daily duties. Flynn would return to his room twice a day to check if any reports had come. And they did come, empty. Nothing was found. Not Yuri’s body, or even a part of him. He ordered ocean charts be brought to him, then sent scouts in the directions of the flows. If Yuri had been dragged away by the currents, they may yet find him washed up somewhere.

His sleep was fitful and uneven. Sodia quietly commented that he needed to rest more, to recover. Flynn politely shrugged her off as he studied the maps on his desk.

In the second week, time slowed to a crawl. It became difficult to focus as his inability to sleep began to dull him. Flynn ordered more ships out, armed with dozens of scouts carrying flyers of Yuri’s likeness to post in every town and city. Nights crept by, his mind racing, trying to think of every possibility, every chance. And when his eyelids would finally slide closed, images of decorated funerals assaulted him.

Estellise and Repede came back to the capital near the end of the week. He was happy to see them, Yuri’s scruffy companion greeting him with an enthusiastic bark.

They chatted over tea, and Estellise’s presence calmed him greatly. Flynn considered her one of the few people he could trust, even if her time with his old friend had greatly broadened her perspective. She could see right through him.

“You’re not sleeping,” Estellise said. It wasn’t a question.

Flynn set down his teacup and absently scratched behind Repede’s ears. Estellise assured him that Yuri was out there, somewhere. He didn’t know how she sounded so certain, but her enthusiasm was contagious.

As he marked his maps by candlelight that evening, there was scratching at his door. As he approached, he heard a voice.

“Repede, stop that. You’ll disturb him –”

Flynn opened the door to find Estellise and Repede, who happily went to his side. He smiled and agreed to take the dog in, bidding Estellise goodnight. Flynn went back to his maps, but Repede began to push at him, nudging him away from his desk.

“All right, all right,” he said, reaching down to unbuckle the hound’s gear from his body. “I get the hint.”

Stripping down to one shirt and shorts, Flynn crawled into his bed. He heard Repede walk in a circle and settle down next to his mattress with a huff. He willed himself to sleep, using Estellise’s comments as a backing, and gently drifted off.

Dusty daylight pierced his eyes as one of his scouts approached, carrying a bundle in his arms. He unwrapped it for Flynn, revealing a severed human arm, the flesh grey and rotting. On the wrist was a bohdi blastia, the gold severely tarnished, red gems still shining.

Flynn awoke with a gasp. He stared at the pillow next to his face, a cold sweat prickling across his entire body. He began to tremble as his eyes stung.

The clicking of blunt nails circled his bed just before Repede jumped up onto the sheets. He sniffed at Flynn’s face, licking his cheek and offering a tiny whine. He hugged the dog close as he curled in on himself, burying his face in fur.

 

By the third week, he knew his exhaustion was showing, unable to hide it behind his good soldier mask. He could see the dark circles under his eyes in the mirror, knew his shoulders were slumped under the weight of his armor.

Flynn sent out more scouts, more ships. They were dwindling in numbers, and they always returned with no news, but he refused to give up. Even as Ioder offered to give Yuri a knight’s funeral.

“No, your majesty,” he answered firmly. “I will not bury another empty coffin.”

Estellise visited him late that night, and he couldn’t muster the strength to act brave. He slumped in his chair and hung his head. He felt like such a shadow of himself.

The princess came to him and hugged him, looping her tiny arms around his neck. He spent a few moments in shock before he relaxed into her grasp.

“I know how painful it must be. You loved him more than any of us,” she whispered. “But you mustn’t give up hope.”

After she left, Flynn pushed his paperwork aside and turned her words over in his head. He certainly loved Yuri, that could never be disputed. They’d known each other since they were small children, holding hands in the filthy streets of the lower quarter. They spent every minute together, playing, fighting, doing odd jobs for pocket change that they’d use for fruit and sweets at the market. They’d watch the stars through the barrier and fall asleep in each other’s arms. Yuri was his rock, the one who always had his back, the one he’d promised to change the world with.

Yuri’s absence had left him hollow, like half of his spirit had suddenly been snuffed out. Some of their last conversations were spoken in harsh tones, with harsher words spoken through clenched jaws. He’d been so hard on him, the one who meant more to him than anyone, more than anything in this world.

Flynn had to laugh at himself, hit with the irony of the realization. It was only now that Yuri was gone that he understood what his old friend really meant to him. And as he dropped onto his bed to rest, he promised to make it right when he found him.

The fourth week saw his sleep return. He used Yuri to guide him, knowing he would never let Flynn live it down if he gave in to despair. He went to his meetings and planning sessions, he pep talked his troops. Ioder had him setting off by boat again, his attention needed elsewhere.

He said farewell to Estellise, letting Repede give him one last lick before boarding his ship, eyes set on the horizon.

Flynn traveled the world, doing what he could, but the situation was dire. Estellise and the others had filled him in, and he was in a losing battle with helpless frustration. He didn’t know how to help the world, and the one man who did was nowhere to be found.

The battle in Hypionia pushed him to his limits. His undershirt was damp with sweat as the dust burned his eyes and lungs. His armor felt heavier than it should. The monsters just kept coming, and even as he rallied his soldiers, he knew they couldn’t hold out forever.

A sharp blast from a blade cut through the monster before him. Flynn turned, and the sound of the battle around him muted into silence. A face he knew better than his own, framed in dark hair. Shining grey eyes and a cocky grin. Flynn inhaled, not trusting his voice.

_“You alive?”_

Something in him sparked back to life, sending warmth flooding through his legs and fingers. Flynn felt a surge of strength as Yuri took his side, his sword and shield suddenly that much lighter.


End file.
